Categories
Motherhood

To The Woman Who Never Ceases To Amaze Me… Happy Mother’s Day

To all the amazing women that have brought joy into the hearts of so many; HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! 

Whether you are a mother, grandmother, stepmother, foster parent or someone that took care of us as though we were your child; HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Today means so much to me because it’s one of the only days my incredible mother will let us celebrate her.

My mom at her parents home in Asmara, Eritrea (circa 1973)

As a single parent, she provided for my sister and me when she had nothing and went above and beyond to make sure we were given everything we needed. She never missed an event at school, never complained that she was tired, or put herself first. Instead, she immersed herself completely in our lives and became our biggest fan. 

I never knew just how much my mother sacrificed until the day I became a mother myself. The moment I laid eyes on my baby girl and realized that her entire life rested on my hands was the day I fully understood what my mother truly was for us. The amount of dedication, love, strength and pride she took in being our mother was revealed to me in my daughter.

It’s actually ironic; it took being a mother to truly appreciate my own mother. Now, I can only pray that I am half the mother to my children as she is to me.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom… I  LOVE YOU

Today also marks the launch of Luwame; a blog for everything women related. A place where we can embrace one another and learn from each other. The launch is in honor of my mother and all the mothers in the world, who are always giving and barely receiving.

My mom and I in London, England (circa 1984)

So one more time…

To all the beautiful, strong women out there that have the privilege of being called Mom; Happy Mother’s Day. May your day be blessed and may your children shower you with unconditional love.

Enjoy today! You deserve it.

I’d love to hear what your loved ones did for you today, or what you did for yourself in honor of your day.

Always,

Categories
Motherhood

Back To Work Blues

In today’s world, whether we like it or not most of us moms work for a living. 

In my view and trust me when I say, this theory has been tested and proven- I am a much better person when I am working and outside of the home. Although, I love my children dearly, I did not like the person I was after I had my first child and decided to become a fulltime stay at home mom. Granted I was 23 at the time and very un-experienced in parenting but as much as I loved my little girl and wanted to be with her every second of the day, staying at home was not for me.

Fast forward 10 years and now I am a mom of 3. Going back to work after having baby #2 and #3 was hard. I felt guilty leaving my innocent beautiful baby at home and going away for hours at a time. I felt even guiltier for wanting to work and having a career! I basically was an emotional wreck‼

Looking back at both times now, I can honestly say, going back to work after Lorenzo (baby #2) was actually easier than when I came back to work after Novena (baby #3). I thank GOD every day, for the job I have and the people I work with because they are extremely understanding and made the transition so much more easier for me than my previous office did. I am also very fortunate to have a great nanny that loves my children. However, even with all the support, the first couple weeks were horrible. None of my work clothes fit, my breasts were leaking because I had just stopped breast feeding, I missed my baby and I could not wait for the work day to be over. For the first time I actually contemplated staying home again. I worked out the numbers in my head and thought about our finances (especially since we just moved into a new home) and the math just didn’t seem to work out.

Another factor that affected my guiltiness was time. I am always on the run with the older children which left me with very little time to spend with Novena.

Sadly, I don’t have any advice to give new mothers that are going through the “back to work blues” as I like to call it. I can however say that as time passed and I got back into my work routine, the one thing that really helped me cope was having a timed plan and sticking to it.

I’d love to know how you all dealt with your back to work blues. Feel free to leave your feedback below.

Always,

Categories
Relationship

4 Important Marriage Lessons I Learned On Maternity Leave

Novena just turned six months today. 

I was home on maternity leave for three months with her, and the timing could not have been any better, I mean, who does not want to be home during the holiday’s right! We also moved into a new house during the same time, so I already knew I would have multiple projects lined up during my leave. Not once though, did I put into consideration taking time out for my hubby and me. Instead, I was so focused on making sure my older children were attended to, that the house was unpacked and ready for guests, and prepping for the holidays. 

Looking back now, I wish I had done these four important things. I see them as my lessons learned for next time, and I wanted to share it with you all so you can learn from my mistakes.

1. The house will get cleaned when you have time to clean it!

In the Ethiopian/Eritrean community often after a new baby is born, the house is full of people coming to visit the mother and child. With my older children, I remember having a full house of family and friends every day for about 4-6 weeks. Although it was amazing to have people around, it could get very overwhelming at times. I did not want people to come to my house and see it messy or not organized, so I spent most of my downtime unpacking and making sure everything was placed in its proper space.

2. Stay in your lane and do not complain!

A good friend at work is always telling me that when it comes to spousal issues, I should always stay in my lane and not complain. Well, I finally understood what it meant while I was home with the children. You see, Ben and I attempt to share our responsibilities; he has morning shift and I handle the afternoons. It works for us and keeps us on a scheduled plan, so we aren’t arguing over who will do what. Well… the children were in school for about 10 of the 12 weeks that I was home and somehow Ben got the idea that because I was home, I would drop and pick them up. Which would have been fine with me, however, when the baby would wake up in the middle of the night, it was I who woke up with her. NOT HIM… which meant, I was getting no sleep! You can kind of guess the rest because it went downhill pretty fast. We were arguing about the smallest things, and there was so much tension between us. He was upset that I wasn’t willing to help him and I was upset that he didn’t understand where I was coming from.

Photo of the Family
My husband Ben and our kids
3. Date Night- does not have to take place outside of the home!

Date nights were not a priority on my to-do list during my three months. Looking back now, I should have taken him up on his offer to wine and dine me but I was so caught up on taking care of the children, the house and trying to lose the 40 pounds I had gained during pregnancy that going out was the last thing I wanted to do. In-home date nights did not cross my mind at all. Ben being the sweetheart that he is understood where I was coming from and never pushed me. Some fun date-night ideas I learned after the fact for couples who want to stay in the house are below:

  • ‍ Adult Game Night
  •  Netflix- movie night
  •  Dinner for two at home (hello fresh and blue apron work wonders)
  •  Cook a romantic dinner with one another and for one another
  •  Give each other messages
  •  Sing and Dance together
  •  Take a bubble bath together
4. Communication, Communication, Communication

One of the most vital tools in keeping a marriage healthy is good communication. Ladies, men are not mind readers; they will never know what you feel unless you flat out tell them. Just knowing and understanding that will save you from so many headaches and unnecessary battles. If I had told Ben, that I was upset with him from the beginning instead of keeping it inside, showing it on my face and expecting him to know that I was mad, we would have simply talked about it and moved on. Instead, I let my anger build up and when I finally said something it was too late.

I’d love to know your lessons learned. Feel free to leave your feedback below.

Yours,