Author: luwame

So you’ve tried to change your ways, you’ve tried all the different diets, eating healthier, working out, but nothing changes. You try and try and then give up, defaulting to your old ways, which then takes you right back to where you started. I get it, I’ve been there, and I know it is NOT FUN. 

What if I told you there was a better way?! 

What if I told you that you could live a balanced life where you ate smaller portions, enjoyed the foods you loved to eat with some health-conscious changes, and moved your body to your limits daily. This can be anything from a simple walk to dancing at home, naked in front of the mirror. Whatever made you happy and got you up and about. 

This, my friend, is how to start a healthy living journey. I call it a journey because it’s a real lifestyle change, and it’s through the small changes you make every day (the mundane modifications) that you will see long-lasting transformations. 

So, where do you even start? 

Well, for one, you start by simply starting! If you listen to my podcast Inspired by Luwame, you will hear me saying that a great deal. I keep coming back to that statement because it really is that simple. YOU START BY SIMPLY STARTING. What this means is that you do the following:

Work with what you have!

Do not overthink the process. If you want to start running, start slowly by jogging or speed walking. This is you starting with what you have. If you try to rush the process and start running 5-minute miles, you will not only hurt yourself, but you will feel discouraged and give up. However, if you start slow, give yourself time to add speed, and simply enjoy the space you are in, you will notice changes over time. 

Consistency is KEY! 

Let’s stick with the running example. The more consistently you work on your skills, the better you become.  Walking will turn to jogging which will then become running, and the more you do it consistently, the faster you will become. 

Build routines around your new habit! 

Without having a built-in routine, you will never stay focused because every time Life throws a curveball your way, your new habit will become less critical. When you have routines in place, you already know what your day will look like, where you will focus on, and there will be time set aside for that new habit. I urge you to continue to do this until the routine itself becomes a habit meaning that you have done it so often that now it can be done unconsciously. 

Have your ‘Why’ written where you can see it everyday.

This will help you stick to your goals when you remember why you even started to begin with and be excited to continue. I’ll leave you with this quote I read:

“He who has a why can endure any how”

Frederick Nietzsche

I hope this blog helps you or someone you know. As always, I’d love to hear from you. How are you building good habits? What processes are you following to ensure your routines turn into habits?

Yours, 

Luwame

I’ve always loved a great book. There is something magical about words written on paper that tell a story and leave you inspired. As much as I love to read, though, I could never find the time to finish a book. I would join different clubs, talk about reading this and that book but never really get to it. So, in 2019 I set out to do what seemed like the impossible. I promised myself that I would read 12 books at a minimum- 1 book for each month. I was determined and put a plan in a place that would definitely have me finishing my goal before the year was over. Well, by December of 2019, I ended up reading 15 books instead of 12, and while I am proud of accomplishing that goal, I noticed that a lot of what I was reading was not being retained, solely because I wasn’t reading to take in the information, instead I was reading to simply finish the book. 

That’s when the idea of creating a book club came to life. I wanted to create a space where women could grow together. A place where we can openly talk about the issues we face daily and do it in a way that relates to the different books we read together. One of the biggest things I noticed was that when I read books with other women and talked about it, we all retained the information so much better. Every month, we get together and compare notes, discuss what lessons we learned from each book and how we will implement those lessons into our lives going forward. We count on each other, learn from each other and laugh together. 

1. A great trick that helped me was dividing the number of pages in each book by the number of days the particular month had and reading that number of pages daily. For example, if a book had 300 pages and I was reading it in April, I would divide 300 by 30 and end with ten pages a day; therefore, I would need to read a minimum of 10 pages daily to get to my goal. 
2. Another great trick was dedicating time each day that no matter what happened, I would sit and read. I made it a priority, like waking up and brushing my teeth or eating breakfast. 
3. Have you ever tried audible? An app that typically has the author or someone else, reading the story to you. Kind of like when we used to put our CDs in the car to listen to books. LOL (I’m aging myself here.) This has really helped me read more books every month while driving or doing chores.  
4. Lastly and more importantly, the best way I stay on track of finishing at least one book a month is that I do it with other women. Find yourself a tribe of like-minded women that will hold you accountable and be there for you when you need that extra reinforcement for your goals. 

These four simple tricks helped me immensely, and I know they will do the same for you! Now that you have my methods on hand, here are my top 3 favorite books from 2020, even though we still have over a month left for the year!

Fear is my Homeboy

I loved this book for so many reasons but on top was the fact that Judi Holler, seriously made fear her homeboy and taught us (her readers) how to do the same. The problem with fear as Judi put it was that we all tried to run away from it instead of embracing it for what it really was- a pathway to the next season of our lives. You see, whenever something big is happening for you, that’s when fear strikes. Often when that happens, we all tend to run away or hide somewhere letting our dreams hide right along with us. We want to be writers, singers, doctors, etc, and fear somehow always stops us from going to school, taking lessons, or moving sometimes even an inch toward our dreams. If you are nodding yes to anything I just wrote, please oh please read this book as soon as you can. I promise you, you won’t be disappointed. 

Girl Stop Apologizing

Okay, 1) I love Rachel Hollis (yes, even with all her scandals and the divorce) and although it took me a while to warm up to her style of empowering women, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on her book. 2) It’s such an easy read, and 3) her personal stories are funny as hell and so inspiring. This is that one book that left me feeling unstoppable. She had me facing my fears and pushing through them one by one and doing it all WHILE NOT APOLOGIZING TO THE WORLD FOR MY ACTIONS! Reading her book really gave me the feeling that she was in the room with me, walking me through every fear I wrote down. By the end of the book, I felt stronger and proud of all I had achieved (instead of feeling down for the things I did not complete yet).

Think Like A Monk 

How can you not love Jay Shetty, with his sexy accent and blue eyes! Enough said right. LOL! Seriously though there is so much wisdom passed those blue eyes that the fact he is in his early 30s always seems to amaze me. Think Like A Monk is literally about just that…thinking like a monk. Why? Because they are the happiest people and have mastered the mind. I love how Jay breaks it down into three categories – Let Go, Grow, and Give and give you practical things you can try in your life so that as the reader you can get an understanding as to how to not only break free of the stress and anxiety that weighs on us daily but also, free our minds of all thoughts, let go of negativity, leave hate behind and even the people that cause us pain and bring negativity into our space. This may be a good way to start 2021. 

“Hi, what’s your name?” I asked her in Amharic, thinking she was from Ethiopia. The little girl looked at me, confused, and smiled. I’m sure she wanted to befriend Isabella and not me (LOL), but Bella was too busy reading a book to talk to this sweet little child.

When she didn’t answer, I smiled and said, “you want to see her book” again in Amharic, and also she looked at me, confused, then her father turned around and told me she didn’t speak Amharic. There we were in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, sitting together in Immigrations, both of us waiting to get some kind of visa, and staring at each other. I later learned that the little girl was from Asmara, Eritrea, and was moving to the United States with her father for a better life.

The minute I knew they were Eritrean, I started speaking to her in Tigrinya (the native language in Eritrea) and found out that she was in 1st grade and while she was excited to be going on a new adventure, she was scared at the same time. She missed her friends, her family, her neighborhood, her bed, and all the things that come with the beauty of being home.

That day replays in my mind quite often, I don’t know if it was because she looked and acted just like Novena or if I saw myself in her, but my heart ached for all that she would be losing by moving to the States. I think, often, we are so consumed with the gains of moving to the Western World from Africa that we forget all the beauty we are leaving behind.

My story is flipped. I was 8 when my parents moved to Ethiopia from Maryland, USA, and just like that little girl, I had to leave behind my friends, my family, my life, and all I knew. I moved to a country where I didn’t speak the language (only spoke Tigrinya and English at the time) and knew no one. I was scared, homesick, and angry at my parents for making life decisions without talking to me first (LOL). It took years and me becoming a mother myself, for me to appreciate my time in Ethiopia fully, and while I’m sure that little girl will start to love her new life here in the United States, I’m sure a part of her will always miss home. A part of her will ponder at the idea of what would have happened to her had she stayed in Asmara.

That little girl is in us somehow or another. While most first-generation American children get their families’ immigration story ingrained in their upbringing, which then keeps them exceptionally close to their native countries, other generations do not. Moms, that’s where we come in. I firmly believe that it is our responsibility to raise our children deeply rooted in our culture.  I talked about this subject briefly some time ago on my blog (Raising 2nd Generation American Children Rooted in Culture); it’s something that concerns me as a mother because often I don’t see myself doing the things my mother and father did to ensure I knew where I was from and quite frankly, I don’t do them because they don’t come naturally for me. The best thing my parents did for my sister and I moved us to Ethiopia in 1991 and then years later, in 1999, move us to Eritrea. We learned our culture, perfected our language skills, and became deeply rooted in our heritage during those years. I want this for my children!

While I know it’s not feasible for us to take our children every year or move to our native countries, I think the least we can do as parents is teach them every day about where they come from. Tell them the stories you heard as a child about how/why your parents came, or if you are an immigrant yourself, tell them your story. Let them live through your words. Share it openly and educate them on the struggles you had to endure when you first arrived and maybe even while you lived in your home country.

If you take away anything from today’s post, please let it be that your story is your power! It’s what made you into the person you are today. Your kids need to know your power!!

As always, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share your immigrant story with us on the blog.

Yours,

Luwame