Author: luwadminme

Ladies, I cannot stress enough the importance of being amongst like minded people. 

Networking is the key ingredient to personal growth. My husband, Bini is always drilling the phrase “Your network is your net worth” and I’m sure once he reads this post he will smile from ear to ear because I finally understand what he means.

This past weekend, my best friend- Mimi and I got to attend the Women Empower Expo at the Washington D.C. Convention Center. With a phenomenal line of speakers and remarkable workshops, the expo was not only empowering but also inspirational and a great place to network. I saw first hand what the power of networking could do for you.

 We attended workshops on: 

• ‍Personal Branding
• Seven Principals of Networking
• Why You Should Stop Dieting
• Empowered Networking
• Make Meaningful Connections
• Women Empower Movement
• The Power of saying NO
• How to Build a Successful Online Business
• Be Yourself

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Each workshop could have their own blog post based on the information we walked out with, and I am happy to share our notes with anyone- email me, and I’ll send them to you. More valuable than the information were the connections we made with the speakers, the different vendors and the amazing women that attended the event. I got pointers on how to present and clean up my social media posts from Jessica Castle an online launch strategist, met the amazing Tamera Hush from Hush Boutique and bought some HOT outfits, had a profound conversation with an Hispanic-American woman who wants to give back to her community by sharing immigration stories via her own podcast and met the wonderful people behind DCW 50 news at 10pm.

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I made connections with the women I met because we were able to sit and talk about our goals and learn from one another. That’s a bond only like-minded people can make. What inspired me the most, was listening to Alexa Carlin speak about her near death experience. She was in a coma for ten days, and yet it couldn’t and wouldn’t stop her from putting together a fantastic event. She truly is a walking testimony- that you can achieve anything you put your mind too.

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Overall I have to say it was an AWESOME day full of empowering messages for all aspects of our lives. I left the event full of creative ideas, empowered to do better and be better. 

I’ll leave you with Mimi’s thoughts on the expo… “NO EXCUSES! We will do what we set ourselves to do!! Point Blank” as she dropped her mic and walked in front of me.

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Always,

“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is you’er than you.” ~Dr. Seuss

It’s funny how a child’s rhyme can mean so much more to an adult, than who it was originally written for. I first saw this quote when I was reading a book to my daughter years ago, and it stuck with me. I felt like Dr. Seuss was talking to me and not my little girl and that quote was exactly what I needed to see at the time.  

Picture this; a fresh out of college young woman with so much potential and seriously goal driven, was now a new wife and mother. As with any new chapter in your life, of course, you’re a little scared of the challenges but excited at the same time. Ben and I knew nothing about raising a child, and I did what I do best… I read books after books on parenting. My favorite was “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and then “What to Expect the First Year”. They were excellent references, but we were by no means ready for the way our lives were going to change once Isabella was born. 

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So in comes Isabella two weeks late (of course she is always on her own schedule with no sense of urgency) and everything I thought I knew about motherhood changed! Here was this little human being that I helped create. Crazy! I fell in love with her the moment I saw her, she was the perfect mix of the both of us, and all I wanted to do was protect and care for her for the rest of my life. Gone were my old goals and drive for success in my field. Instead, I immersed myself in my new role; wife and mother. I became a stay at home mother because, at the time, I felt it was the best thing for my child, and I wanted to raise her the way my mother raised me. 

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Seeing her grow every day and change was pretty amazing, but slowly I started to forget who I was before I became a mother.

One day I looked in the mirror and honestly did not recognize the person I was looking at.  Who was this person? Where was the real me? Was this the real me? Was being a mother all my life would amount to and why wasn’t that enough for me? All these questions were going through my head.

I kept picturing my father and all his life lessons about leaving a good legacy for your children. I felt pressured to accomplish more while also feeling guilty about not being fulfilled with my current status. I had nightmares about dying and my tombstone only saying: Luwam – wife/mother and I became angry and bitter at myself but took my anger out on Ben. In my eyes, his life was not affected on the same level mine was. He was still on the path he mapped for himself while mine had turned on so many different roads that I was now lost. That did not seem fair at all.

Looking back, I must have been jealous of him and just did not see it for what it was at the time.  It’s hard to even think about those days, but I’m so grateful I went through them because it helped me grow into the woman I am today. It took my faith in God, lots of self-love, self-encouragement, and time alone to get me back on the right track.  I needed to reflect, step back and look in the mirror again, and this time it had to be while focusing on all that was important in my life. Of course, I will never be the person I was before I had children. That is great because that person didn’t have Ben, Isabella, Lorenzo and Novena and my world without them would be mundane. They move me, they inspire me, and they are a huge part of who I am today. Notice, a ‘huge part’ is written in bold letters because that’s just it… they are a part of who I am but not all. That was my problem; instead of taking my new role and adding it to my list of achievements and titles, I let it become my ONLY title, and then I let it consume me.

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Moms, we still have to live our own lives, in fact, we owe it to ourselves to be the person we want to be while still being a mother.

I guess what I am trying to say is, ten years ago, I was so focused on what my legacy would be that I forgot to focus on what was most important- BUILDING THAT LEGACY. Instead of comparing myself to Ben or my friends, I should have been busy doing whatever I loved to do at the time. Today, these things do not bother me as they did before. As time went by and my family grew, I learned that anything and everything is possible as long as you have the willpower and the imagination to make it happen.

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As always, I’d love to hear your journey in finding yourself after motherhood. 

Yours,

What started as a casual weight loss challenge after the birth of my first child, has now become a healthy lifestyle that I would not change for the world; one that incorporates plenty of different workouts and making healthier food choices.

Just recently my husband (Ben) and daughter (Isabella) decided to join me on my healthy living journey, and the outcome has been great.

Ben’s mother is a fantastic chef who LOVES to feed her family authentic Ethiopian food. Her restaurant Etete’s for anyone living in the DC area is top rated, and a must try. So, it’s no surprise that the man loves to eat food rich in butter and meat fat.

Seeing my body change so quickly after our third child was born sparked an interest to change his eating and workout habits and soon after he made his decision we got our daughter interested in making a healthy lifestyle change. The challenging part for me at that point was creating two plans for my family. Ben needed to lose weight while Isabella just needed to eat healthier and be more active. If in the process she lost a couple of pounds that would be great, but I by no means wanted her to feel like she had to lose anything or needed to change her body. She is a beautiful, happy and innocent 9-year-old and I want to keep her that way for as long as I can.

I slowly started to include more green vegetables into their meals and replaced carbs with protein. We massively reduced Ben’s food portion, while Isabella could still eat the same portions as long as she had healthy food on her plate. It was hard in the beginning; Isabella would get so upset during school lunch when her friends would come to school with pizza or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and she had broccoli and kale with grilled chicken. Ben would call me and complain that he was starving and needed his mother’s cooking.

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Getting Isabella to work out with me was another hard task. Gone are the days where we have ample time at home after school. Most weekdays we are only home in the afternoons for an hour or two to have a snack, do homework, change, and play with the baby before rushing out to their oh so many practices and games or piano lessons.

The days she has lacrosse practice or a game, I do not focus on workouts with her. However, when she is home on off days, we do one activity together. I make it as fun as it can be, so she does not complain or feel like it is a punishment.  A lot of times my son will join in on the fun and my youngest will sit with us and watch.

When we started this journey, Isabella hated running and would only do it during PE for a grade or during her lacrosse practice. Now though, she loves getting on the treadmill with her iPod and catching up on shows like Mommy does.

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• We go on walks together by the Potomac River and just talk about our day.
• I created the jumping jacks challenge, where we would all do jumping jacks at the same time and see who can last the longest (often my son kicks our butt).
• She loves to do yoga with me and is currently working very hard to master all the moves.
• Her favorite exercise- is dancing with us. We pick random songs on my playlists, turn up the volume and go crazy in the house… you would be surprised how many calories one can burn by doing this. 

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It has been a month now since I’ve changed the family’s diet and workout routine. The first week they got on the scale and both lost roughly 5 pounds.  Although Isabella knew that wasn’t the intent of our healthy lifestyle change, she was excited and felt proud that she accomplished something with her father. I think that and the fact that we were having fun working out as a family made them both want to continue.  What’s funny is… to celebrate their success, we went out to eat… but guess what; they both chose healthy options (Isabella was less happy about her choice then Ben was).

I must add, that now it does not bother Isabella when her friends bring food to school that she once craved. She will always love her bread, pizza, and pasta, but she knows that everything is in moderation and the same idea goes for Ben. He doesn’t crave his mother’s cooking as much anymore or doesn’t feel deprived and hungry which means I have succeeded.

What I love the most, is that we are all making this change together.

My sister just joined us on our healthy living journey two weeks ago, and so far she is happy with her results. Next stop will be getting my in-laws to join in.  More to come…

I hope this helps you in some way. I’d love to hear what you are doing to include your family members in your healthy living journey.

Always,