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How To Date Your Spouse: Tips For Planning A Successful Date Night

How many of us are married? How many have children (young or old)? How many feel like their lives are way too busy for date night even to make it on their schedule? We all know Date Night is essential but how many of us are actually doing it?

A little over a year ago, I wrote a post on Making Date Night Work for Us and so many of you asked questions on how we make it all work, that I figured now would be the perfect time to revisit the topic and talk in details about the ‘how to’ aspect of dating your spouse. 

 When talking about ‘how to’ where exactly do you start? Here is a step by step guide to planning perfect date nights over and over again.  

1. Prioritize Time for Each Other 

Remember those days when it was just the two of you, and you made time each other even if it meant you were canceling on your friends/family? You know, those days when your significant other came first...when the love was fresh, and you looked forward to the days you would see him/her again. What happened to those days? Time passes by and we get so tied up in our routines that we forget what it was like in the beginning. This is why so many couples are drifting apart; I saw it happening in my marriage. We were so busy attending to the children, our jobs and our own lives that date nights became non-existent. We have to make time for each other, time that cannot be altered by other circumstances. 

 2. Create a Timeframe that Works for both of you

One of the biggest reasons why date nights get pushed aside is because we aren’t creating a timeframe that works for both parties. It can be at night or even during the day as your little ones take a nap. Whatever the time is, make sure it fits both your schedule. Do not let other activities get in the way once you’ve both agreed on a specific date and time. 

One of the decisions you will make when it comes to a time frame is whether to have your date nights monthly, bi-weekly, or weekly. We do ours every other week when we have someone to watch the kids at home, and it works perfectly. I love that this is time set aside for the two of us. 

There are tons of date nights that Bini has to work, and during those times, we both have to be willing to make compromises. We had to learn the hard way not to let his work affect our time together. 

 3. Work through the Conflicts

I completely understand the struggle of making it all work. Having a family, a job, friends, etc. it can all get overwhelming. Being able to work through your conflicts and achieving a mutual goal in itself will create a better bond between you and your spouse. 

Keep in mind that some of the significant concerns for date night to occur will be childcare, budget, planning and work schedules. Communication is key! The more you talk to one another, the more you will understand each other and be able to work through any issue. 

4. Budget — Make ‘Date Night’ Affordable 

I am a big fan of having date night anywhere! It can be at home after the kids go to sleep or we can get all dressed up and go out. Plan accordingly based on your budget and do what works for your family. Never allow date night to add financial stress. 

5. Execution  

Last but not least… the fun part… actually having the date...now, what happens? What do you talk about? 

The most important tip I can give you is to please NOT make it all about your children.  This is your time to talk about each other, your future or what’s happening in your life now. Talk about the plans you have or want to have. Anything that you both love and can bond over.  

Here are some ideas to help you execute Date Night:

  • Lunch/Dinner at your favorite restaurant
  • Check out the local Museums
  • Dinner and a Movie
  • Plan a Romantic Picnic
  • Wine night at home after the kids’ sleep
  • Go dancing
  • Play a sport together
  • Watch a game together

I’ve seen first-hand how date nights can help a marriage. The time we spend together helps us grow our bond, keeps our romance alive and restores our relationship. It really does serve its purpose for our marriage, and my hope is that by following all the above steps it will do the same for you. 

As always, I’d love to hear from you! How do you date your spouse? What key things are you doing in your relationship to rekindle your love?


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