As a mother of three children, I strive to be a great example to each of my kids- Bella, Lorenzo, and Novena. Both Bini and I teach and lead by example in being strong independent people. This lesson is of the utmost importance to me! I want my children to believe in themselves to know that they can achieve greatness and that hard work and dedication to their goals will always bring them high rewards.
Have you ever noticed that as parents, we teach our sons different vital lessons than the ones we teach our daughters? Why is that? Is it because our parents did that with us? Or is it because our culture and society show examples of just that? Whatever the case may be, I, for one, am one mother that will raise my daughters STRONG and with the same lessons that I teach my son, Lorenzo.
I want my girls to know that they don’t need anyone to provide for them. They should provide for themselves and others when possible.
The world we live in today has a mean way of showing itself to our children. They see things on TV or hear thoughts from other people that I am not yet ready to teach them myself. So, while I would LOVE to place them in a bubble and shelter them from all the negative and hatred this world has to offer, I also know that if I did somehow figure a way to do just that, I would be hurting them more because the second they leave that bubble the real world will hit them so hard in the face, they won’t know how to stand up afterwards.
So, how do we raise our girls to be STRONG WOMEN? How do we protect them and guide them at the same time?
We teach them how to:
1) LOVE themselves through all the bad and good
It’s in loving yourself that you can open up and love others. Teach them affirmations, let them repeat every morning that they are BEAUTIFUL, KIND, SMART, STRONG, BRAVE, AND THE GREATEST. I see how powerful this is with my kids.
Also, always show them unconditional love, regardless of anything that happens. When kids feel safe and loved, they thrive!
2) FIGHT for what they believe in and for themselves
It always amazes me that we tell our sons to fight back but not our little girls. My dad always used to tell me- NEVER start a fight, but don’t let anyone think they can hit you and getaway with it either. Use your words whenever possible; use LOVE first, but NEVER EVER let someone think you’re weak. Nowadays, more than ever, I’m reminded of my father’s lessons. We’ve dealt with bullying in our family, and it’s something I wouldn’t wish for anyone. We can only teach this lesson by consistently talking to our girls and teaching them right from wrong. Having the hard conversations with them and sharing our own stories of when we fought for something we believed in.
3) Understand their Bodies
A huge lesson that only a mother (or mother figure) can teach! Funny story actually- When I first got my period, I was almost 14 years old, and my father was living in Ethiopia while I was in the States. Well, before I told my mother who was living with me, I made that long-distance phone call and told my father because he didn’t freak out about everything like my mom did. My dad didn’t know how to answer me AT ALL; in fact, there was this awkward silence for what felt like forever, and then he asked me to put my mom on the phone. She was heartbroken at that fact I would call him and tell him first, but she sat me down, and we celebrated what my family today calls, Women’s Day together.
Women’s day, is when you officially become a woman (since you have your period)! It’s a day of celebration, where we do whatever the person we are celebrating wants to do. Sometimes it can be shopping and dinner, or movie and ice-cream, or even simply being together and playing a board game at home. It is a massive deal in our family now. My little sister plus my cousins have all gotten a chance to experience it with our mothers or at least with each other. It is also a day of reflection, where we learn exactly what is happening in our bodies. That day, my mom taught me what I was experiencing and how beautiful my transformation would be. She compared it to a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly. I was becoming a butterfly!
4) Be God Loving and Fearing Women
This is the most important one! Through our faith, we can be as STRONG and even STRONGER then needed. We can accomplish anything and go through the worst, knowing we have God by our side. Please, if you take anything from today’s blog, let it be this lesson!
I hope today’s blog helps you or someone you know. Always remember the best way we can guide our children is to TALK to them, have a daily conversation with them and show them all the love and nourishment they will need to endure the hardships of this world. That way, when they leave our homes and start their lives, they will be STRONG, determined, independent women who can and will achieve greatness in all they seek.
As always, I’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments in the feedback section below.
This month has been dedicated to LOVING YOU FIRST, and you’ve done the work! You are now on a mission to bettering your life so that in return, you can be the best version of yourself for your family.
What will this new version of you do to show your family just how much you love them?!
Here are four different ways you can show your kids you love them by instilling essential values in them from a young age.
1) Give the kids chores that will be done while you are present.
This way, you are all spending time together and accomplishing house tasks as a family. If that’s not enough incentive, you start paying the kids money for each chore. Start with small tasks like setting or clearing the table for family dinner.
2) Teach them how to make their bed, fold their clothes, and clean up their rooms.
Moms, the truth of the matter is that our babies will leave us one day, and do you really want your kid out in the world without knowing how to do their own laundry? I know I don’t. Sometimes, I feel like it would so much easier to do things myself around the house because it’s faster than explaining and teaching the kids how to do it. However, when I do that, I get tired, and my kids get lazy, thinking that mom and dad will take care of everything.
Teaching them how to take care of themselves is not a one-day task, my oldest is 12, and I’m still teaching her today, but she is learning, and that’s what counts. These days, the kids won’t leave for school without making their beds in the morning.
3) Show them the value of money
This is more Bini’s expertise than mine, but I see it working wonders with our children’s daily lives, and the future looks bright. From a young age, Bini has taught the children that money is something to be earned and never expected. If they want a new toy or anything that wasn’t essential, they would have to work for it. He takes the kids to work with him and shows them how he runs his business. As mentioned, we list out tasks that need to be done around the house and the amount we would pay for it weekly. The kids do the work, and they get paid, if they don’t work they don’t make that money, it’s that simple.
4) Talk to Your Children
Do you know what happens during your children’s day at school or their friends’ house? A lot of us are so busy tackling life that we forget to ask the most critical question when we see our kids. ‘HOW WAS YOUR DAY?’ A great way to ensure they communicate with you is to have the conversation during dinner time. Go around the table, and each person talks about their day. This way, the kids feel heard, and it gives you insight into their lives.
I hope this blog helps you or someone you know. As always, I’d love to hear from you. How do you show your children how much you love them? Leave your comments below.
This month’s Empowered Women Empower Women series features my mentor, life coach, and dear friend Maia Carney. She is a certified master trainer, a fitness studio owner, an author, a mother to three children and a wife among countless other titles.
Maia is the woman we all want to be-friend and need in our life. She believes in people and has a way of making them believe in themselves too.
Enjoy reading all about Maia Carney’s journey and how she became the amazing fitness guru she is today!
1. I love that you are so into community fitness and want to share that love with others. Tell me about your journey; what inspired you to launch The Worx by Maia, and what does it do for the community?
Know that scene from Moana, where she is standing at the edge of the ocean, and it calls her, and she never knows why?… Movement, Fitness, and Community is that deep calling for me.
And just like the ocean was forbidden for Moana, playing sports and being active was off-limits for me growing up. Being a Filipino female immigrant, I was taught to keep to myself and be”ladylike.” My newfound American spirit though, wanted to find who I was and prove to my parents that my strength and capabilities would drive me to seek opportunities. The bigger the challenge of playing, the more I wanted to do it. I loved the challenge of being the only female wrestler in high school and a 5’0 collegiate rugby player. To me, it was more than just breaking barriers and being fit. What brought me the most joy, was being a part of all the the huddle, putting our hands in, the motivational speeches where you can hear the team breathing, and all of us serving one purpose/ promising each other to be our best!
After college, I wanted to be the best teacher and didn’t listen to “my ocean” calling. That’s when I learned the further you go away from your calling, the more it drains you. There I was teaching 7th graders, giving 100% to my students, and not taking care of myself. I was left depressed and anxious to the point that I would often lay in my bed, feeling a pile of bricks on my chest. At this point, I had just gotten engaged to my high school sweetheart, and yet I was far from joy.
Then I saw a post showing my childhood friends working out in their basement with the goal to workout for 90 days! P90X and Insanity, baby! Another challenge! Immediately, I was pulled in, and self-care became my priority! We called ourselves “THAT TEAM”! Sweating beside my new found team changed my life. I became committed and slowly noticed my time management and efficiency in the classroom improving as well.
The coolest thing happened in the “dungeon”… my voice in those workouts grew. I cheered my friends on, and I stepped right back into being charismatic, confident, and inspiring. My voice grew louder, and my calling led me to the Kazaze stage leading boot camp to a hundred or so people a night. Bringing joy and a sense of belonging to people through movement became my mission.
To fully accomplish my purpose, I couldn’t do it from a stage. I had to build my team… the kind of team where everyone’s individual light shines and people inspire one another through stories, sweat, and change everyday.
TheWorX by Maia gives people a home and a family. Just today… I hugged a client after losing her dad recently and let her know her coming back meant so much to the team. Just today… a client signed up to be part of the team knowing she didn’t have a stable job but knew she needed positive change. Knowing that she worked with the elderly, I introduced her to another client who was having a job fair at a local senior living center. Just today, I recorded 25 personal video texts to my clients, just saying hello. I LOVE what I do!
2. What are some of the hurdles you faced when you first started and some that you’re still facing today?
For the first five years of my business, I was teaching 8th grade government by day, coaching a rugby team, and after all that I hustled to learn how to be a trainer, a business person, and a brand new mom all at the same time.
None of my family or friends owned a business. I never managed anything – which was a rough start when you have employees. I didn’t major in business, management, or kinesiology! I wasn’t a Physical Education Teacher…I taught history! LOL!
Let’s just say I learned by fire and jumping right into the unknown. I read books, attended workshops, got a coach, and joined masterminds. I’ve made mistakes along the way…big and small. The difference-maker was finding clarity and the right people to mentor me!
The driving force to leave my job and security came one late night when I got home from The WorX. Baby Trystan was asleep in his crib. I picked him up to hold him for the first time that day. At that moment, I started crying because I realized the last time I saw him was 15 hours ago asleep in his crib when I kissed him goodbye to go to school. Before having Violet, my second child, I vowed I would go full-time. They were my driving force to get enough clients so I could commit to my family and Team WorX full-time!
Today, my hurdle is getting my voice out there and finding enough BUTT GLUE to share about my amazing community and getting folks online WorXing out! I would be lying to you if I didn’t share that fear drives this hurtle. My fear shifts my focus on all the little fires in front of me rather than taking steps to achieve the big thing.
The game-changer for me was that I identified where that fear came from…a story from my upbringing that taught me that the best “me” was silent and hidden in its origin. Now that I know that…I can “SHHHHHHHHHHH” that story and maybe…just maybe…you will be WorXing out with Luwam and me soon as soon as I get my story out there!
3. What do you wish people knew more about when it comes to owning a business, especially one that is highly invested in community fitness?
1. Train people from the INSIDE OUT. Create experiences that remind your clients that what’s inside of them is more important than any exercise they will ever do!
2. Always have your “And Then Some,”as my coach Todd Durkin would say. Put in the extra love to show that you care for your clients!
3. Find the right mentor that speaks to your character and not about making money… It took me six years to find my coach. I would have saved a lot of resources if I listened to my instincts rather than following the new shiny object.
4. You generate your own joy! Once you get that, you can be a high performer!
4. What advice do you have for someone that wants to become more active and begin their healthy living journey?
1. Do this exercise!
2. Think of a time when you felt most alive.
3. Write down that moment as best as you can remember. Be vivid in your description.
4. Close your eyes, imagine yourself back in that moment. What were you doing? Feel it! Hear it! Breathe in what it smelled and felt like several times before you open your eyes.
5. Quickly, write a list of all the different ways you can describe yourself at that moment for a whole minute!! No cheating…. just write, write, write.
6. Circle the best three adjectives that describe YOU at that moment.
7. Finish each sentence with as much description as possible for each of the three adjectives.
“I was (insert adjective) because ________.”
Now, MOVE… press play on an online workout, go to a WorX class, go for a walk… and BE the three words you described above as you MOVE.
Here’s the thing, if being active and healthy is your goal, and you rely on doing it when you FEEL like it, then it won’t stick because feelings come and go. If you are BEING your three words when you move, you will do it consistentlybecause it makes you feel ALIVE. That’s the secret to making it a life change.
5. If there was one thing you’ve done that you could go back in time and change, what would it be?
I would have started a blog and recorded my journey and my WorXouts from the beginning. LOL! So much change has happened since I started, and I only wish I recorded it all. Never too late to start? Right, Luwam?
6. Where do you see yourself and your brand in 5 years?
TheWorX is a unique and powerful community! We are only in our baby stages of what kind of impact we can have in this world. I’ll definitely still be teaching my Saturday class! It’s my favorite day to teach. Yes, we will still be doing our number 1 thing- inspiring people to BE WHO THEY ARE & BE IT WELL in the fitness arena. I’d like to go LIVE more on social networks, so we can reach more folks LIVE in adventurous places like the Philippines. I’d love to create worXouts for the whole family, especially my mom and my aunts’ age, AND continue to attract more families at The Worx.
7. You’re a mother of three, a wife, and you run your own business. How do you manage to balance it all- motherhood/marriage/friendships/work?
For everything, I strive to BE WHERE MY FEET ARE.
When it’s date night, I’m sexy and a flirty, knowing that I’m with my favorite person in the world, and having that fire in our relationship matters. When I’m with my family, I snuggle hard and play endlessly. My kids are ages 5, 4, and 2… they are all active little people who have their little battle cries and personalities, so I don’t want to miss out on the adventure of raising them. When I am teaching, I bring my most charismatic, confident, and inspirational self to lead the WorXouts so I can deliver more than just a WorXout. When it’s business time, I focus on the one thing that will make the boat go faster? Right now, I’m heavily invested in the people – My amazing trainers, my awesome staff, my clients, and other potential lives to change. After all, its people who make the business.
8. In your eyes, what’s your most significant accomplishment? Do you feel like “you’ve made it”?
Honestly, this might sound crazy, but my most significant achievement is feeling joy daily. Depression and anxiety love to sneak its ugly head in my life from time to time. My life can be super stressful, so I have two options: allow the stress to consume me, or I can honor the struggle and bring joy. I choose joy.
I have made it. Now, there is always room to DO BETTER, as my coach Frank Pucher would say.
Here’s what is up…I wake up every morning with the man I love beside me, my high school sweetheart. The man who swords fights swimming noodles with the kids in the backyard and who has my back for my dream to come true. We celebrate our tenth anniversary this year, and I still melt in his arms when he hugs me. Most nights as my kids wind down, I’m snuggling on our couch with Emmet lying between my legs, Trystan on the right side, and Violet on the left. I got friends I can count on at the drop of a hat. Lastly, The WorX is almost nine years old, and it’s really become a life-changing home to many people. I’m so blessed and grateful for my life.
9. What are some empowering words or quotes you often find yourself turning to?
“Do YOU!”
The very first time I put on a mic and taught class…I wanted everyone to know that no matter what level of fitness they were on or how much of the WorXout they accomplish…I wanted them to focus on bringing their best that day! … so DO YOU came out of my mouth. DO YOU is my way of honoring the person they are while at the same time challenging them to BRING IT!
“Grant me the strength to focus this week, to be mindful and present, to serve with excellence, to be a force of love.” This prayer sits on my desk and is often prayed.
10. Do you have any last words for our readers…?
Dream BIG! If there’s something you want more than anything, commit wholeheartedly, surround yourself with like-minded people, do your WorXouts and have fun doing it.
PS: Thank you for being who you are in this world. Now, make it happen!
I hope you enjoyed reading Maia’s journey and testimony to the power of staying true to your dreams, following your heart, and being consistent. More importantly, I hope her story inspires you to listen out for your calling and DO YOU at any stage of life.
Lastly, if you live in the DMV area, come check out her fitness gym The Worx by Maia in Alexandria, VA. You won’t be disappointed! Make sure to follow Maia’s journey on social media at The Worx by Maia.
Please be sure to stay tuned for monthly featured posts from other empowered women. Contact me if you would like to share your story and empower our readers. As always, I’d love to hear from you.
